Can't help falling in love
by Rhombea
Summary: "Some things were meant to be and now there was nothing he could do about all of these feelings he had inside of him, tearing him apart, because he couldn't help falling in love with you. " (Ren Kouen X Fem!Reader)


_Wise men say  
Only fools rush in  
But I can't help falling in love with you  
Shall I stay?  
Would it be a sin  
If I can't help falling in love with you?_

„She may be pretty, but not from nobility. Not a good match for the prince, if you ask me."

„Then again, he does not want to marry no one, does he? What a stubborn prince he is. He's not going to get younger."

To this day still, it wondered Kouen just how much aristocrats liked to gossip, even though he didn't gave it too much of a mind, he had more important things to handle. This ball was plain boring, the people attending where hideous, the music tiring and yet, he had to sit it through, occasionally holding conversations with the way-too-nosy nobility, that came to attend.

However, there was a ray of light, something shining even in this utterly boring festivity, something saving his mood. And they were right: You were pretty. The prettiest girl to attend even, your hair shining as the sun goddess's herself, your dress blue like the ocean. Your jewels were no match to your eyes, glimmering brightly at the person you were talking to. Oh, how the prince envied the young lad, smiling clumsily at you as he tried to pay you a courtesy visit. No matter how awkward the man looked, at least he was able to talk to you. At least he was able to hear you laugh at him.

Kouen was indecisive about what to do. He'd much rather walk over and talk to you, than sit on the throne and observe the situation. But the strong regime of his stepmother did not allow this freedom to any of her children, so he could not do as he pleased, watching you from afar. More than just the few gossiping nobles had reminded him of his position and where you stood, when compared to him, and yet…

When you finally looked up, meeting his gaze and your blue orbs shining in the red of his, there was this distinct tugging in his chest and the prince felt a cold shudder go down his back.

 _Like a river flows_  
 _Surely to the sea_  
 _Darling, so it goes_  
 _Some things are meant to be_  
 _Take my hand,_  
 _Take my whole life, too_  
 _For I can't help falling in love with you_

„Actually it goes down into the ground behind the palace, ending in the sea on some point. The palace was built on top of it."

With a mesmerized nod, you let out a quiet: „Is that so?", taking your time to look down the flow of the river. It's not like the end was in plain sight and still you looked like it made much more sense now that he had explained it. Even though you acted like most people were expected to in his presence, somehow Kouen found it immensely intriguing how you bound your real feelings into it. Kouen couldn't help remaining stiff next to you, but it was sure to see how much he held himself back.

If only he was born more sociable, he could have made you compliments. He could have told you how beautiful you looked in this suited bordeaux red dress and how stunningly your hair swayed in the wind, delivering the soft smell of roses to him. Maybe he would even have told you how much he adored the smile you gave him, when he helped you over a few steps, on your way through the royal gardens and maybe he would have held on to your hand forever, if you didn't take it from him with a light blush on your face.

The sound of your name, teared the prince out of his thoughts. The two of you turned around, seeing your father wave at you, the empress and a man he recognized as another diplomat from one of the many countries Kou had conquered, accompanying him after their business talks were over. It was a signal. A signal for you to return now, so the two of you could take a carriage home. Far away from Kou, the palace, him. And you would go, even if he didn't want you too.

You bowed politely, gracefully and, how he found, even bitterly. Shortly you looked up at him, smiling once more, before setting your foot in motion and walking the first few steps. It was painful seeing you go and it made him do something, he didn't think he'd ever would. The distance was short, you could hear him clearly, when he spoke your name. Making you turn around and cocking your head slightly to the side, asking what the matter was.

„It would be a pleasure to stay in contact with you, Lady _"

You smiled, nodding as you agreed. Telling him that he knew where to find you and indeed, he remembered it clearly like on the day he heard about you for the first time.

And so he wrote, in the awkward and clumsy manner only a man of his sternness and indelicateness could manage to do, a letter. You responded soon and he wrote faster. And with ever envelope again, he felt his heart jump, when he opened it.

 _Like a river flows_  
 _Surely to the sea_  
 _Darling, so it goes_  
 _Some things are meant to be_  
 _Take my hand,_  
 _Take my whole life, too_  
 _For I can't help falling in love with you_  
 _For I can't help falling in love with you_

To the two of you, the spot by the river became something sacred. Something, only the two of you could have treasured the way you did. The months went by, spring to summer, summer to fall and all there was, was you. You in the white dress, you with closed hair, you in the late night confessions you brought to paper and sent to him, you in his thoughts, you in his mind. His hand on top of yours, your eyes upon his face. There was no way the two of you were able to get any closer than this, though sometimes he just knew that you wanted it too. There was just no one in the world, who understood him better, no one who dared to speak up, when he fell out of order, like you did, no one who looked at him with the same desiring eyes as you. And there was no one he loved more than he loved you either.

„Will the river freeze in winter?", you asked, watching the light waves of water hopping over the stones and branches inside the waterbed.

„No, never. Running waters don't freeze."

„I see.", you mumbled thoughtfully, in your eyes a certain gleam of longing.

„Then, at least, there might be some hope for us.", you finally said, loud and clear to his ears. He held your hand tighter.

„Even if we can't be together, we'll still have the promise to never forget what we feel for each other. Our feelings never freezing, as long as we remember them"

Kouen nodded. It was time and both of you knew it. Whatever he had to say to you, this was the moment. It was now or never, so he leaned forward, holding your hand tightly as he kissed you. The first and the last kiss he was ever going to get.

As the clock signalized the time, he finally let go. There were no more words to be spoken, there was no moment for the two of you anymore, as you pulled up your dress and rushed your way back over the stone path. That beautiful white dress, which was made only for you, only to be worn one time. You were careful not to ruin it before the ceremony.

„Ready, my dear?", your father asked, smiling, as he proudly presented himself in his most traditional clothes.

One look - you could only spare to do it once - you sent back to Kouen, as he stood there by the river, reciprocating your look. You father followed your gaze, he looked at you, sadness in his eyes. Reaching out his elbow to you and you linked your arm with him, as he softly mumbled:

„I am so sorry. It's necessary."

„I know.", you replied, finally turning around, facing the building which was bound to be the place for the most beautiful thing you would have in your life.

„Then let's go.", your father said, moving you to the entrance.

Even if the young man, who had awkwardly asked for your hand in marriage - just as awkwardly as he had introduced himself on the ball, months ago - was a good match, when the two exchanged the rings to each other, you couldn't help the tears from rolling. Just this much it hurt, that you had to finally wake up from the dream and realize, that there never was a chance from the very beginning, that the person you were going to marry, would be the prince. No matter how much you had fallen in love with him.

He too, just couldn't bare to see you walk out, hand in hand with your husband, from the church, even though it should have been him by your side. So he turned away, directing his gaze at the river, continuously flowing down to the sea. Some things were meant to be and now there was nothing he could do about all of these feelings he had inside of him, tearing him apart, because he couldn't help falling in love with you.


End file.
